final draft

   

          Government should not censor the media

At 2014.04.16 in South Korea, the ferry SeWol was sink with about 470 passengers. 294 of people died because of this accident. It is huge and terrible accident in the world. All of the people was sad and lamented. People want to know why this accident happened and who had blunder. The president of South Korea, 박근혜, said "It is down to me after all. We(government) will reform all of things about Sewol ferry accident" with tears.
However still today the doubt of this accident was not solved. Why the ferry was sink, why the government evade fact finding and so on. So people were angry that the tears were lie. They blame 박근혜 on the internet, SNS and so on. September 16th in cabinet meeting, 박근혜 said " The blame is excessive so need censoring media". still today whether the rumor that government censoring media  is true or not. I think that's the very interest and important problem in South Korea. I argue that government should not censor the media.

Before I tell you some reasons why I argue that 박근혜 should not censor the media, I tell you some background of South Korea when the Sewol ferry accident happened. Sewol ferry accident happened 2014.04.16. So many 단원high school students and passengers were died. The most important thing, only one thing that the bereaved have wanted to know, is truth ascertainment. So many people wanted to know why Sewol ferry was sunken. When Sewol ferry was sinking 박근혜 was out 7hours Even the Chief Presidential Secretary did't know where she was and what she did. After 7 hours she held a meeting and said “I heard that students wore life vest, then why it is so hard to find students?” that question makes people angry because she was utterly irresponsible about Sewol ferry accident. So she made a public apology and said “It is down to me after all. we(government) will reform all of things about Sewol ferry accident “ all of people include bereaved believed her. But hers solution was just dissolution of maritime police.

 Still now truth ascertainment is not solved. The bereaved that is almost 단원 high school students's parents went on a demonstration. Many police broke up a demonstration. Even police let 유민's father who go on a hunger strike 46 days don't go Cheongwadae that except 유민's father, anyone can go and out. All of these spread out through SNS and internet immediately. 

This is some background of South Korea and now I tell you about media.  media have very varying role such as entertainment, news, culture, education and so on but I want to focus on this topic so I tell you information delivery of media. As many people knew and used is SNS(Social Network Service).  In 2014 about one fourth of the world's total population uses social media, while three-quarters of the online population uses one or more social networking sites. Media have developed very short time but almost people use media. SNS is fruit of developed WWW(World Wide Web). Every people define SNS different way. Wikipedia says SNS is a platform to build social networks or social relations among people who share interests, activities, backgrounds or real-life connections. I want to define SNS is the place where people can speech freely and discuss about anything they want.  

So now I tell you reasons why I argue that government should not censor the media. first It can be invasion of privacy.Everyone don't want to show the messages that I talked with my friends especially that is blame. but in Korea, ridiculously the president didn't want to see or listen that people blame her So censor the media(kakao talk) and punish them who spread the rumor about SeWol ferry accident and president. If the government show some kakako talk, that is obviously invasion of privacy and soon we lose the right that is freedom of speech. So government should not censor the media even that has some good pointsAlso that is to back to the past. We can't talk lightly with our friends. We always keep silence. If government does not ready to get any blame that is not the real government. that is dictatorship.. there are really famous saying "All power comes form the citizen. so the citizen is the country"  So now I want the government to know these things, now do their best so do truth ascertainment not censor the media.

second it can use another purpose.
 Think about if government have the ability that censor the media, they only censor those things? In South Korea,박근혜 want to censor the media only she don't want to hear any blame to her not curious about harmful effect on people. It is very dangerous thinking that give the ability that censor the media government. There is no limit to people's greed. they must use ability another way and control the freedom of speech. Gradually the press will be government's organization.  

last the censoring reason is not logical.
Of course the blame other people is  not good thing  but the president promised that she reform all of things and trace the truth with tears. but until now even though the bereaved families go on hunger strike, the government didn't say a word. and in this situation, the president said "the blame is excessive so need to censor the media" that can't be the reason. 

However some people believed that censoring media is not that bad. because there are so many rumor about SeWol Ferry accident and some people thought that 박근혜 had nothing to do with accident because 박근혜 didn't make SeWol ferry sink (Sewol ferry is too old to use but period of 이명박, he relieved deregulation about ship so Korea bought Sewol ferry from Japan)and did her best. Almost true but she did not her best. she absented 7 hours during Sewol ferry was sinking. even the Chief Presidential Secretary did't know where she was and what she do. after 7 hours she came and hold a meeting and said "i heard that all of students were life vest, then what is the problem?" she did't know the situation quickly and didn't do her job. That means she didn't take emergency measures. and as I mentioned she didn't keep her promise and try to censor the media.

Of course these are all true. but think about if government have the ability that censor the media, they only censor those things? In South Korea,박근혜 want to censor the media only she don't want to hear any blame to her not curious about harmful effect on people. It is very dangerous thinking that give the ability that censor the media government. If government censor the media It can be invasion of privacy, and we lose the right that freedom of speech. So government should not censor the media even that has some good points
If government censor the media, that is to back to the past. We can't talk lightly with our friends. We always keep silence. If government does not ready to get any blame that is not the real government. that is dictatorship.. there are really famous saying "All power comes form the citizen. so the citizen is the country" So now I want the government to know these things, now do their best so do truth ascertainment not censor the media.

Bibliography 
http://www2.uncp.edu/home/acurtis/NewMedia/SocialMedia/SocialMediaHistory.html
http://www.pbs.org/now/politics/mediahistory.html
http://www.publishyourarticles.net/eng/articles/an-essay-on-the-role-of-media.html
http://www.uniteforsight.org/health-communication-course/module5
http://www.seanews.com.tr/article/COLUMNISTS/cahitistikbal/126073/accidents-sewol-sinking-capt.-cahit-istikbal/
http://www.scmp.com/news/asia/article/1610202/south-koreans-boycott-kakao-talk-social-media-service-after-presidents

second draft

At 2014.04.16 in South Korea, the ferry SeWol was sink with about 470 passengers. 294 of people died because of this accident. It is huge and terrible accident in the world. All of the people was sad and lamented. People want to know why this accident happened and who had blunder. The president of South Korea, 박근혜, said "It is down to me after all. We(government) will reform all of things about Sewol ferry accident" with tears.
However still today the doubt of this accident was not solved. Why the ferry was sink, why the government evade fact finding and so on. So people were angry that the tears were lie. They blame 박근혜 on the internet, SNS and so on. September 16th in cabinet meeting, 박근혜 said " The blame is excessive so need censoring media". still today whether the rumor that government censoring media  is true or not. I think that's the very interest and important problem in South Korea. I argue that government should not censor the media.

Before I tell you some reasons why I argue that 박근혜 should not censor the media, I tell you some background of South Korea when the Sewol ferry accident happened. Sewol ferry accident happened 2014.04.16. So many 단원high school students and passengers were died. The most important thing, only one thing that the bereaved have wanted to know, is truth ascertainment. So many people wanted to know why Sewol ferry was sunken.

When Sewol ferry was sinking 박근혜 was out 7hours Even the Chief Presidential Secretary did't know where she was and what she did. After 7hours she held a meeting and said “I heard that students wore life vest, then why it is so hard to find students?” that question makes people angry because she was utterly irresponsible about Sewol ferry accident. So she made a public apology and said “It is down to me after all. we(government) will reform all of things about Sewol ferry accident “ all of people include bereaved believed her. But hers solution was just dissolution of maritime police. Still now truth ascertainment is not solved. The bereaved that is almost 단원 high school students's parents went on a demonstration. Many police broke up a demonstration. Even police let 유민's father who go on a hunger strike 46 days don't go Cheongwadae that except 유민's father, anyone can go and out. All of these spread out through SNS and internet immediately. 
This is some background of South Korea and now I tell you about media.  media have very varying role such as entertainment, news, culture, education and so on but I want to focus on this topic so I tell you information delivery of media. As many people knew and used is SNS(Social Network Service).  In 2014 about one fourth of the world's total population uses social media, while three-quarters of the online population uses one or more social networking sites. Media have developed very short time but almost people use media. SNS is fruit of developed WWW(World Wide Web). Every people define SNS different way. Wikipedia says SNS is a platform to build social networks or social relations among people who share interests, activities, backgrounds or real-life connections. I want to define SNS is the place where people can speech freely and discuss about anything they want.  

So now I tell you reasons why I argue that government should not censor the media. 

first. the censoring media can be the fight. today as I mentioned everyone can use media and talk anything with their friends and family. They have the right to talk anything that is freedom of speech. After Internet was made, people can find any information that they want. And After SNS was made, people can communicate with very varying people. those means that people have more accessibility about anything even politics. This situation, If government try to hide some facts or censor the media, people must be angry and that become riot. for example in Iran which is censored the media, a riot arises in 2002 and 2003.

second It can be invasion of privacy.Everyone don't want to show the messages that I talked with my friends especially that is blame. but in Korea, ridiculously the president didn't want to see or listen that people blame her So censor the media(kakao talk) and punish them who spread the rumor about SeWol ferry accident and president. If the government show some kakako talk, that is obviously invasion of privacy.
Of course these are all true. but think about if government have the ability that censor the media, they only censor those things? In South Korea,박근혜 want to censor the media only she don't want to hear any blame to her not curious about harmful effect on people. It is very dangerous thinking that give the ability that censor the media government. If government censor the media It can be invasion of privacy, and we lose the right that freedom of speech. So government should not censor the media even that has some good points
If government censor the media, that is to back to the past. We can't talk lightly with our friends. We always keep silence. If government does not ready to get any blame that is not the real government. that is dictatorship.. there are really famous saying "All power comes form the citizen. so the citizen is the country"  So now I want the government to know these things, now do their best so do truth ascertainment not censor the media.

 last the censoring reason is not logical.

Of course the blame other people is  not good thing  but the president promised that she reform all of things and trace the truth with tears. but until now even though the bereaved families go on hunger strike, the government didn't say a word. and in this situation, the president said "the blame is excessive so need to censor the media" that can't be the reason. 

However some people believed that censoring media is not that bad. because it can prevent the harmful advertisement to people such as smoking and drinking. If government do not censor those, people are always exposed that harmful advertisement and finally that can be bad effect to people.Also that is really important that prevent harmful effect to children.Like TV or internet, there are so many things that children can learn bad thing like sex or violent. Actually most of children learn wrong information through the internet or TV. So some parents want to censor the information that is agree to censor the media in positive aspect.

Of course these are all true. but think about if government have the ability that censor the media, they only censor those things? In South Korea,박근혜 want to censor the media only she don't want to hear any blame to her not curious about harmful effect on people. It is very dangerous thinking that give the ability that censor the media government. If government censor the media It can be invasion of privacy, and we lose the right that freedom of speech. So government should not censor the media even that has some good points

If government censor the media, that is to back to the past. We can't talk lightly with our friends. We always keep silence. If government does not ready to get any blame that is not the real government. that is dictatorship.. there are really famous saying "All power comes form the citizen. so the citizen is the country" So now I want the government to know these things, now do their best so do truth ascertainment not censor the media.

Bibliography 

http://www2.uncp.edu/home/acurtis/NewMedia/SocialMedia/SocialMediaHistory.html

http://www.pbs.org/now/politics/mediahistory.html

http://www.publishyourarticles.net/eng/articles/an-essay-on-the-role-of-media.html

http://www.uniteforsight.org/health-communication-course/module5

http://www.seanews.com.tr/article/COLUMNISTS/cahitistikbal/126073/accidents-sewol-sinking-capt.-cahit-istikbal/

http://www.scmp.com/news/asia/article/1610202/south-koreans-boycott-kakao-talk-social-media-service-after-presidents

Week 11 Objectives - Self Evaluation

First, what score do you think you deserve? Write a brief justification. Think about it, then look at my answer.

- I think I deserve 0 points. I only included 4 out of the 5 elements of a classical argument, and my research was inadequate to support my thesis.

Next, let's decide what did you do well, and what could you do better? Think about it, then look at my answers.

1) My research was good. I have many information that can be used.

2) I could have made more logical essay. actually I worked very fast. so I think it is some illogical and some attraction.  
  
Please recall the 5 parts of the classical argument. Which part of the classical argument did you use the best? Which part could be improved? Think about it, then look at my answers.

1) My introduction was good. because anyone who live in Korea have interest about SeWol ferry accident. So It must get more attentions.

2) My confirmation is very weak. Because it doesn't logical very abstract. So I need more research.

Last, what's your strategy for your next draft? Where will you focus your attention to make the second draft stronger?

- I think the best thing I can do for my essay is improve my reasons. to make more reliable reasons I need more researches and deep thinking. I saw this problem very easy but I wrote this essay it is not easy that I thought. I have to improve all of part. but especially confirmation and reputation. because I defined the media is only SNS on some parts and I defined the media is only TV on some parts. I need to topicality on media. 
1)more research! 2) think deeply 3)write essay again!

first draft

At 2014.04.16 in South Korea, the ferry SeWol was sink with about 470 passengers. 294 of people was died because of this accident. It is very big and terrible accident in the world. All of people was sad and lamented. people want to know why this accident happened and who had blunder. The president of South Korea, 박근혜, said "It is down to me after all. we(government) will reform all of things about Sewol ferry accident" with tears.
However still today the doubt of this accident was not solve. why the ferry was sink, why the government evade fact finding and so on. So people was angry that the tears was lie. They blame 박근혜 on the internet, SNS and so on. September 16th in cabinet meeting, 박근혜 said " The blame is excessive so need censoring media". still today whether the rumor that government censoring media  is true or not. I think that's the very interest and important problem in South Korea. I argue that government should not censor the media.

Everyone knows that media is very important. before I write some reasons why the government should not censor the media, I explain background of media especially in history and role. In 1971 The first email was delivered and  in 1995 blogging begins, in 2010  population of Internet users was 1.97 billion. That was almost 30 percent of the global population. in 2013 Facebook user total climbed to 1.11 billion. Twitter had 500 million registered users, with more than 200 million active. in 2014 About 25 percent of the world's total population uses social media, while three-quarters of the online population uses one or more social networking sites. Like this  media have developed very short time but almost people use media. Also the media have very varying role. fist Entertainment : The original idea behind the creation of various ‘media means’ was to entertain masses. Radio, TV, cinemas and magazines spend most of their resources targeting on entertaining items and programs. Because of the growing population and developing lifestyle, the demand for more entertainment is increasing. Every year billion of dollars is traded in entertainment industry. second, News & Current Affairs: One of major duties of media today is to inform the people about the latest happening around them and the world. They cover all aspects of our interest like weather, politics, war, health, finance, science, fashion, music, etc. The need for more and more news has evolved into creation of dedicated TV & radio channels and magazines. People can listen, watch and read latest news whenever and wherever they want. Third, Political Awareness Media is the overseer of the political system. If it plays its role honestly, it will be a great force in building the nation. It plays a great role in bringing common man close to their leaders. The media focuses in bringing details of all major political situations, decisions and scenarios. Hence people can better understand their rights and make better decisions. education, public announcements, advertisement and so on. 

So now I tell you reasons why I argue that government should not censor the media. 

first. the censoring media can be the fight. today as I mentioned everyone can use media and talk anything with their friends and family. They have the right to talk anything that is freedom of speech. After Internet was made, people can find any information that they want. And After SNS was made, people can communicate with very varying people. those means that people have more accessibility about anything even politics. This situation, If government try to hide some facts or censor the media, people must be angry and that become riot. for example in Iran which is censored the media, a riot arises in 2002 and 2003.

second It can be invasion of privacy.

Everyone don't want to show the messages that I talked with my friends especially that is blame. but in Korea, ridiculously the president didn't want to see or listen that people blame her So censor the media(kakao talk) and punish them who spread the rumor about SeWol ferry accident and president. If the government show some kakako talk, that is obviously invasion of privacy.

 last the censoring reason is not logical.

Of course the blame other people is  not good thing  but the president promised that she reform all of things and trace the truth with tears. but until now even though the bereaved families go on hunger strike, the government didn't say a word. and in this situation, the president said "the blame is excessive so need to censor the meida" that can't be the reason. 

However some people believed that censoring media is not that bad. because it can prevent the harmful advertisement to people such as smoking and drinking. If government do not censor those, people are always exposed that harmful advertisement and finally that can be bad effect to people.Also that is really important that prevent harmful effect to children.Like TV or internet, there are so many things that children can learn bad thing like sex or violent. Actually most of children learn wrong information through the internet or TV. So some parents want to censor the information that is agree to censor the media in positive aspect.

Of course these are all true. but think about if government have the ability that censor the media, they only censor those things? In South Korea,박근혜 want to censor the media only she don't want to hear any blame to her not curious about harmful effect on people. It is very dangerous thinking that give the ability that censor the media government. If government censor the media It can be invasion of privacy, and we lose the right that freedom of speech. So government should not censor the media even that has some good points

If government censor the media, that is to back to the past. We can't talk lightly with our friends. We always keep silence. If government does not ready to get any blame that is not the real government. that is dictatorship.. there are really famous saying "All power comes form the citizen. so the citizen is the country"  So now I want the government to know these things, now do their best so do truth ascertainment not censor the media.

week10

If government censor the media, that is to back to the past. We can't talk lightly with our friends. We always keep silence. If government does not ready to get any blame that is not the real government. that is dictatorship.. there are really famous saying "All power comes form the citizen. so the citizen is the country"  So now I want the government to know these things, now do their best so do truth ascertainment not censor the media.

week9

1. What is my thesis?

  government should not censor the media 

2. What is the opposite position?

  government can censor the media

3. What arguments can I anticipate?

-prevent the harmful advertisement to people

-prevent the harmful effect to children

4. How will I counter those arguments?

Of course that right but we can prevent these thing. for example making some policy like if the media shows harmful information then punish them or resist some channel, web site that harmful to children. but if government censor the media. we will lose many things that  I mentioned. 

My refutation and concession

  Some people believed that censoring media is not that bad. because it can prevent the harmful advertisement to people such as smoking and drinking. If government do not censor those, people are always exposed that harmful advertisement and finally that can be bad effect to people.Also that is really important that prevent harmful effect to children.Like TV or internet, there are so many things that children can learn bad thing like sex or violent. Actually most of children learn wrong information through the internet or TV. So some parents want to censor the information that is agree to censor the media in positive aspect.

Of course these are all true. but think about if government have the ability that censor the media, they only censor those things? In South Korea,박근혜 want to censor the media only she don't want to hear any blame to her not curious about harmful effect on people. It is very dangerous thinking that give the ability that censor the media government. If government censor the media It can be invasion of privacy, and we lose the right that freedom of speech. So government should not censor the media even that has some good points

week8

1. What is my thesis?
government should not censor the media

 2. What types of source am I using to defend my thesis? 
I am using example of country that censored media and freedom of the press

 3. Are my arguments mostly based on evidence, logic or emotion?
My arguments are mostly based on logic and emotion. because that is the common sense in today and censoring media can be the tool of dictatorship and almost people do not want to censor the media. they want to talk freely with their friends even though the text about the blame to president. 

My Confirmation
   
So now I tell you reasons why I argue that government should not censor the media. 
first. the censoring media can be the fight. today as I mentioned everyone can use media and talk anything with their friends and family. They have the right to talk anything that is freedom of speech. After Internet was made, people can find any information that they want. And After SNS was made, people can communicate with very varying people. those means that people have more accessibility about anything even politics. This situation, If government try to hide some facts or censor the media, people must be angry and that become riot. for example in Iran which is censored the media, a riot arises in 2002 and 2003.

second It can be invasion of privacy.
Everyone don't want to show the messages that I talked with my friends especially that is blame. but in Korea, ridiculously the president didn't want to see or listen that people blame her So censor the media(kakao talk) and punish them who spread the rumor about SeWol ferry accident and president. If the government show some kakako talk, that is obviously invasion of privacy.

last the censoring reason is not logical.
Of course the blame other people is  not good thing  but the president promised that she reform all of things and trace the truth with tears. but until now even though the bereaved families go on hunger strike, the government didn't say a word. and in this situation, the president said "the blame is excessive so need to censor the meida" that can't be the reason. 

week7

My persuasive argument thesis is: To get more acceptable judgments, Civic Participation in Criminal Trials should exist.

1. What do people already know about my topic?

people already know about the government try to censor the media(kakao tlak). so they use telegram that even government can't see the messages instead of kakakotalk. And maybe all of people know that the SeWol ferry accident was not end still today. government don't want to truth ascertainment.

2. What research has already been done about my topic?

the summary of SeWol ferry accident(this article said disaster) 

http://www.seanews.com.tr/article/COLUMNISTS/cahitistikbal/126073/accidents-sewol-sinking-capt.-cahit-istikbal/

<that is what I want to tell :)> 

http://www.scmp.com/news/asia/article/1610202/south-koreans-boycott-kakao-talk-social-media-service-after-presidents

3. What are the implications of my argument (What if I'm right? What if I'm right and people ignore me?)

If people ignore me, I will tell some reasons that South Korea back to the history. censoring media never can be good. 

My Narration

Everyone knows that media is very important. before I write some reasons why the government should not censor the media, I explain background of media especially in history and role.

In 1971 The first email was delivered and  in 1995 blogging begins, in 2010  population of Internet users was 1.97 billion. That was almost 30 percent of the global population. in 2013 Facebook user total climbed to 1.11 billion. Twitter had 500 million registered users, with more than 200 million active. in 2014 About 25 percent of the world's total population uses social media, while three-quarters of the online population uses one or more social networking sites. Like this  media have developed very short time but almost people use media

Also the media have very varying role. fist Entertainment : The original idea behind the creation of various ‘media means’ was to entertain masses. Radio, TV, cinemas and magazines spend most of their resources targeting on entertaining items and programs. Because of the growing population and developing lifestyle, the demand for more entertainment is increasing. Every year billion of dollars is traded in entertainment industry. second, News & Current Affairs: One of major duties of media today is to inform the people about the latest happening around them and the world. They cover all aspects of our interest like weather, politics, war, health, finance, science, fashion, music, etc. The need for more and more news has evolved into creation of dedicated TV & radio channels and magazines. People can listen, watch and read latest news whenever and wherever they want. Third, Political Awareness Media is the overseer of the political system. If it plays its role honestly, it will be a great force in building the nation. It plays a great role in bringing common man close to their leaders. The media focuses in bringing details of all major political situations, decisions and scenarios. Hence people can better understand their rights and make better decisions. education, public announcements, advertisement and so on. 

week6

At 2014.04.16 in South Korea, the ferry SeWol was sink with about 470 passengers. 294 of people was died because of this accident. It is very big and terrible accident in the world. All of people was sad and lamented. people want to know why this accident happened and who had blunder. The president of South Korea, 박근혜, said "It is down to me after all. we(government) will reform all of things about Sewol ferry accident" with tears.
However still today the doubt of this accident was not solve. why the ferry was sink, why the government evade fact finding and so on. So people was angry that the tears was lie. They blame 박근혜 on the internet, SNS and so on. September 16th in cabinet meeting, 박근혜 said " The blame is excessive so need censoring media". still today whether the rumor that government censoring media  is true or not. I think that's the very interest and important problem in South Korea. I argue that government should not censor the media.



1. Attention grabber -
I attracted the audience by explaining the SeWol ferry accident
2. Explains the topic -
I write the story that why the park's government try to censor the media.
and why I chose this topic
3. My thesis -
government should not censor the media.